You Know You’re In Texas When

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jack-rabbit-riding

    Author Unknown

  • You only know five spices-salt, pepper, Ranch dressing, BBQ Sauce and ketchup.
  • You design your Halloween costume to fit over Wranglers and Cowboy Boots.
  • The mosquitoes have landing lights.
  • You have more miles on your tractor than your car.
  • You have 10 favorite recipes for Deer meat.
  • You’ve taken your kids trick-or-treating when it was 90 degrees outside.
  • Driving is better after it’s rained because the potholes are filled with mud and you don’t have to take those backroads to go “mudding.”
  • You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
  • You owe more money on your bulldozer than your car.
  • The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1 page,
  • but requires 6 pages for local sports.
  • You can write a check at Dairy Queen for 2 Hungr-Busters and fries.
  • At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
  • The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
  • Your leaf-blower gets stuck on the roof.
  • You think the start of Deer season is a national holiday.
  • You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the coyotes won’t prowl on your deck.
  • You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
  • The major county fund-raiser isn’t bingo – it’s sausage making.
  • You find 70 degrees Fahrenheit a little chilly.
  • The trunk of your car doubles as a sauna.
  • You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry, and your Cowboy Boots.
  • You know 4 seasons – Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Deer Season
  • You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Texan friends.

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