22 Things That Make A True Texan. How Many Are You?

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I LOVE Being Texan

1. Only a Texan knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don’t “HAVE” them, you “PITCH” them.

2. Only a Texan knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up “a mess.”

3. Only a Texan can show or point out to you the general direction of “yonder.”

4. Only a Texan knows exactly how long “directly” is — as in: “Going to town, be back directly.”

5. Even Texan babies know that “Gimme some sugar” is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

6. All Texans know exactly when “by and by” is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

7. Only a Texan knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who’s got trouble is a plate of hot brisket and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor’s trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!

8. Only Texans grow up knowing the difference between “right near” and “a right far piece.” They also know that “just down the road” can be 1 mile or 20.

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9. Only a Texan, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol’ boy, and po’ white trash.

10. No true Texan would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

fixin

11. A Texan knows that “fixin” can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

12. Only Texans make friends while standing in lines. We don’t do “queues,” we do “lines”; and when we’re “in line,” we talk to everybody!

13. Put 100 Texans in a room and half of them will discover they’re related, even if only by marriage.

14. Texans never refer to one person as “ya’ll.”

15. Texans know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

16. Every Texan knows and understands the meanings behind “Come and Take It” and “Remember the Alamo!”

17. When you hear someone say, “Well, I caught myself lookin’,” you know you are in the presence of a genuine Texan!

18. Only true Texans know that there’s only one type of tea – and it’s sweet. If you ask for sweet or unsweet tea, you’re a damn foreigner.

19. And a true Texan knows you don’t scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, “Bless her heart” and go your own way.

20. To those of you who’re still a little embarrassed by your Texaness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!

21. And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Texan stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin’ to have classes on Texan as a second language!

22. And for those that are not from Texas but have lived here for a long time, ya’ll need a sign to hang on ya’lls front porch that reads “I aint from Texas but I got here as fast as I could.”

Here’s how you can see if you’re a true Texan.

If you knew 0-10 of these, you’re a damn Yankee.
11-15, you’re a transplant.
16-19, you’re a young-un, but there’s hope for you.
20-22, you’re a tried and true Texan.

Bless your hearts, ya’ll have a blessed day.

~Anonymous

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