JOKE: How To Speak Texan

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How to talk like a native TEXAN in one easy lesson:

Aig – What a hen lays

Aints – He’s got aints in his paints

Paints – What cha put on your laigs of a mornin

Arn – Ma’s tard of arnin

Bag – He bagged her to marry him

Bobbed – A bobbed wire fence

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Bresh – He had a bresh with the law, and the law won.

Bub – the light bub burned out

Cheer – What you set in

Crick – A small stream

Clum – He sure clum that tree fastern any ‘coon

Chiny – country over in Asia

Chuch duds – Sunday go-to-meetin clothes

Core – He got hisself a new Ford core

Cyow – Animal on Farm

Deppity – He helps out the shurf

Dribbed – He dribbed milk on his shirt

Dainz – Satidy night social

Ellum – A graceful tree

Fanger – What you put your rang on

Faince – Whats round the hawg lot

Far – What get the brandin arn hot

Furred – He got furred from his job

Flar – A rose is a purdy flar

Frash – Them aigs ain’t frash

Furiners – All non-‘bamans

Further – Hits ten miles further to town

Grain – She was grain with envy

Hail – Where bad folks go

Hep – Poor George, he can’t hep it, he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.

Hern – It aint hern, it’s his’n

Hilbilly – People in the next county

Hollar – Whats between the hills

Hard – Got a brend new hard

hand Tar – His core blew a tar

Laymun – A sour fruit

Laig – Most folks have two of them

Lather – What you climb up

Liberry – Where you go to check out books for larnin

Mailk – what you get from cyows

Mere – What you see your self in

Minners – Live bait

Misrus – Married Woman

Nar – Opposite of wide

Nayk – Your head sets on it

Nup – No

Orrel – Them hinges need orrel

Ormy – What the sojers go in

Pank – A light red color

Parch – Sit out on the parch and watch the grass grow

Petition – What separate the rooms

Poke – A paper bag or sack

Pokey – What the shurf and deppity puts crimnals in Poke

Salit – A green vegetable

Puppet – What the preacher is in

Purdy – She is purdy as a pitcher

Purt near – Almost; he purt near caught that greased pig

Rang – You wear it on your fanger

Rut – That there tree sure has long ruts

Rah cheer – I was born rah cheer in town

Rainch – A big cow farm

Rat – Do it rat now!

Rench – Rench the soap yourself

Roont – She plum roont her shoes

Salary – A stringy vegetable

Soardeens – Small canned fish

Shar – A light rain

Gully Worsher – A medium heavy rain

Toad strangler – A heavy rain Sody

Pop – A soft drink

Sprang – Water out’n the ground

Shurf – The Shurf put Clem in jail

Storch – This here aprn has to much storch in it

Skeered – that plumb skeered me to death

Thanks – He shore thanks he’s smart

Tho – Tho me the ball

Thoat – I shore got a sore thoat

War – A bobbed war fance

Worsh – Go worsh your face

Warter – What you worsh your face in

Yurp – A continent overseas

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