You know you’re from Texas when…

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You measure distance in minutes.

• You can say “110 degrees” without fainting.

• The local news reporter actually fries an egg on the sidewalk. (I’ve actually seen this.)

• You say “Yes, ma’am” and “Yes, sir” to your own parents.

• You’ve ever driven 2 hours just to eat lunch, and then driven back.

• “Spring” is the grass being green for two weeks – then it’s brown…for the rest of the year.

• Directions include “down yonder”.

• The rivalry between A&M and UT results in some people’s ideas of good and evil… and don’t even bring up OU.

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• There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.

• You see more roadkill on the highway than cars.

• The speed limit on the freeway is 70 but you are stuck behind a tractor (or john deere tractor) going 15.

• You know exactly who has been down your dirt road by the tire tracks…

• You can make a U-turn ANYWHERE you want… regardless of what the signs say.

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• You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.

• You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.

• School gets canceled for 1/2 an inch of snow, your “snowmen” are less than 2 feet tall, and a majority of it is sand and leaves.

• You have BEEN HIT by a deer, but have yet to hit one.

• You know that roadrunners don’t say Beep Beep.

• You know the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

• Hot water comes out of both taps.

• You realize asphalt has a liquid state.

• You carry jumper cables in your car … for your OWN car.

• You have known someone who has had one belt buckle bigger than your fist.

• You know what “cow tipping” and “snipe hunting” is – and you know better than to go “snipe hunting”.

• School is cancelled for Stock Show/Rodeo.

• You have 5 pairs of boots and they all serve different purposes.
1) Work boots
2) Rodeo boots
3) Dress boots
4) Casual boots
5) Huntin’ boots

• You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your cowboy boots.

• You shop at HEB.

• You can wear a T-Shirt one day and the temperature drop 50 degrees with ice on the ground by the next morning.

• You can drive all day and not leave the state.

• When it rains, everyone is smiling.

• The Pastor wears boots.

• Four generations of the same family sit together in worship.

• You see more Texan flags than American flags.

• You know someone who ate the 72 oz steak and got it for free.

• You prefer Whataburger to McDonalds.

• You’re disappointed when a food doesn’t come in spicy flavor.

• You can tell a rock from an armadillo at 300 yards.

• You know people with black cars and/or leather seats are just asking for it.

• You know what Lone Star Beer is.

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• Your idea of the perfect summer involves floating along in the sweltering hot July sun while your butt freezes in the cold Guadalupe for 8 hours straight!

• 45 minutes to work is the average… on a good day.

• Texas has two political leanings: Conservative and Austin

• On any given day, there’s something someone’s allergic to somewhere in the air.

• You know that that plural of “y’all” is “all y’all”.

• Yes, it is possible for it to be 3 A.M., 85º and 95% humidity. And then there’s Houston…
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