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• Women have more imagination than men. They need it to tell men how wonderful they are.

• Women have a number of faults. Men have only two – everything they say and everything they do.

• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

• When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. When men are depressed, they invade another country.

• A man is a person who will pay $50 for a $10 item he wants. A woman, however, will pay $10 for a $50 item that she doesn’t want.

• Diamonds are a girl’s best friend. Dogs are a man’s best friend. Now you know which sex is smarter.

• It’s not true that men prefer foolish women. Rather they prefer women who can pretend to be foolish whenever necessary, which is the very core of intelligence.

• Men always want to be a woman’s first love. Women have a more subtle instinct: What they like is to be a man’s last romance.

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• To be happy with a man, a woman must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, a man must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does.

• Men marry because they are tired; women marry because they are curious. Both are disappointed.

• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

• A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her; a man will always cherish the memory of the woman who he didn’t.

• There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman – before marriage and after marriage.

• Only two things are necessary for a man to do to keep his wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.

• Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

• Any married man should forget his mistakes – it’s no use two people remembering the same thing.

• Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.

• Husbands are like cars: all are good the first year.

• A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

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