MOO MANY COW JOKES

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Q: Why don’t cows have any money?
A: Because farmers milk them dry

Q: What did mama cow say to baby cow?
A: It’s pasture bedtime.

Q: What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?
A: An animal that’s in a baaaaaaaad moooooood.

Q: Do you know why the cow jumped over the moon?
A: The farmer had cold hands.

Q: What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
A: Beef strokin’ off.

Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side.

Q: What do you call a cow you can’t see?
A: Camooflauged.

Q: Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs?
A: Because the cow has the utter.

Q: How do you make a milkshake?
A: Give a cow a pogo stick.

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Q: What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
A: Bullogna

Q: What does a cow put on his french toast?
A: Moooolasses.

Q: What do you call an evil cow?
A: De-mooooon.

Q: What did the cow say to the cow tipping rednecks?
A: Don’t moooove a muscle.

What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A lawn moo-er.

Q: Where do cows go for lunch?
A: The calf-eteria.

Q: What do you call a cow that can cut the grass?
A: Mulan.

Q: What do you call animal drinking with Justin Timberlake?
A: TEA COW!

Q: Which job is a cow most suited for?
A: Baker. Because they’re making cow pies regularly.

Q: “Where did the cows go last night”?
A: “To the mooon”

Q: Whats the difference between and orchestra and a bull?
A: On the bull the horns are in the front and the asshole is in the back.

Q: What do you call a cow with an assistant?
A: Moooooving up in the world.

Q: How does a cow get to the mooooon?
A: It flies through udder space!

Q: What happens when you talk to a cow?
A: It goes in one ear and out the udder!

Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?
A: Laughing stock.

Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?
A: To get chocolate milk.

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a dairy cow?
A: Peanut butter.

Q: What are a cows favorite subjects in school?
A: Moosic, psycowolgy, cowculus

Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
A: Milk and Quackers!

Q: What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence
A: Udder-Catastrophe

Q: Where do you find the most cows?
A: Moo-York

Q: What do cows get when they are sick?
A: Hay Fever

Q: Why does a milking stool have only three legs?
A: Because the cow has the udder.

Q: What do you call a sad cow?
A: Mooooved to tears.

Q: Did you hear that Chuck Norris is a matador?
A: He takes the bull by the horns.

Q: How can you tell which cow is the best dancer?
A: Wait til one busts a moooooove.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde that died with a bow and arrow in her hand?
A: She hit the bull’s eye.

Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Their horns don’t work.

Q: What are the spots on black and white cows?
A: Holstains

Q: What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?
A: Milk of Amnesia

Q: What Is A Cows Favorite Type Of Math?
A: Moo-tiplication

Q: Have you ever heard the term “When Pigs Fly!”……
A: Well what if it were “When Cows Fly!”

Q: Where do cows go when they want a night out?
A: To the moo-vies!

Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch?
A: Beef Jerky

Q: What was the bull doing in the pasture with his eyes closed?
A: Bull-dozin’

Q: What did the bored cow say when she got up in the morning?
A: “It’s just an udder day”

Q: How does a farmer count a herd of cows?
A: With a Cowculator

Q: Where do Russians get their milk?
A: From Mos-cows

Q: Did you hear about the snobby cow?
A: She thought she was a cutlet above the rest!

Q: What’s a cow’s favorite moosical note?
A: Beef-flat

Q: What did the cow say to the turtle?
A: Get a moove on

Q: Why are cows so soft?
A: Because they are made out of leather.

Q: What do cows wear in Hawaii?
A: Moo- moos

Q: What do call a cow that has just had a calf?
A: Decalfenated

Q: Did you hear about the cow that wasn’t interested in bulls?
A: She was an Ho-Moo-Sexual.

Q: Where do cows get their weapons?
A: Ar-moooo-ries.

Q: Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
A: Because her horn didn’t work

Q: Did you hear that NASA recently launched a bunch of Holsteins into low Earth orbit?
A: They called it the Herd Shot ‘Round The World!

Q: What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?
A: A MILK DUD!

Q: What did the cow say when a person played the piano?
A: That’s good moooooosic.

Q: What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?
A: An udder failure.

Q: What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor?
A: Ground Beef

Q: Where do cows get together?
A: The meet market.

Q: What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A: a lawn moo-er.

Q: What do you call a cow with full armor?
A: Sir loin

Q: What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull?
A: A steak-out!

Q: What do you call a cow with no front legs?
A: Lean Beef

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs at all?
A: Ground beef

Q: What band is a cow favorite?
A: Moody Blues

Q: What do you call a grumpy cow?
A: Moo-dy

Q: Why did cow jump over the moon?
A: Because he wanted to skydive

Q: Why is the barn so noisy?
A: Because all of the cows have horns.

Q: Where do cows like to ride on trains?
A: In the cow-boose.

Q: What do cows get when they do all their chores?
A: Mooney.

Q: What did one dairy cow say to another?
A: Got milk?

Q: How to you know that cows will be in heaven?
A: It’s a place of udder delight.

Q: When is a farmer like a magician?
A: When he turns his cow into pasture.

Q: Why is a barn so noisy?
A: All the cows have horns.

Q: What do you get when you cross and smurf and a cow?
A: Blue cheese!

Q: Why can’t the bankrupt cowboy complain?
A: He’s got no beef.

Q: What animals do you bring to bed?
A: Your calves.

Q: What happened to the lost cattle?
A: Nobody’s herd.

Q: Where does a cow stop to drink?
A: The milky way!

Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a lawnmower?
A: A lawnmooer.

Q: How do you stop a bull from charging?
A: Take away his credit card!

Q: What does an invisible man drink?
A: Evaporated milk!

Why does the cow bring toilet paper to the party?
Because he is a party pooper.

Q: What newspaper do cows read?
A: The Daily Moos.

Q: What do you find a gallery of cows?
A: The mooseum.

Q: What do you call I half a cow?
A: a calf.

Q: What was the first animal in space?
A: The cow that jumped over the moon!

Q: What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A: A steak out.

Q: What happens when a cow laughs too hard?
A: It Cowlapses!

Q: What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A: A car only has one horn.

Q: What do you get when you give pasta to a cow?
A: Beefaroni.

Q: What did one cow say to the other?
A: Mooooooove over!

Q: What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A: A cow walking backwards!

Q: What do you call an arab next to a cow?
A: Milk Sheikh!

Q: What do cows read in the mornings?
A: The moospaper.

Q: What did the farmer say to the cow?
A: Produce some milk

Why do cows have long faces?
Because you would have a long face too, if your tits were gettin pulled twice a day

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