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Jeff Foxworthy is famous for “You might be a redneck if”. We decided to put this little list together. “You might be a Texan if.” Enjoy!

  1. You can properly pronounce Mexia, Bexar, Gruene, Boerne, Waxahachie, and Whataburger.

  2. You think people that complain about the heat in their states are sissies.

  3. A tornado siren is your signal to go outside and look for a funnel cloud.

  4. You know that the true value of a parking space isn’t measured by distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.


  1. Stores don’t have bags and shopping carts, they have sacks and buggies.

  2. You’ve seen people wear cowboy boots to a formal wedding.

  3. You think anyone from outside Texas has an accent.

  4. You measure distance in minutes – not miles.


  1. You go to your local high school’s football games on Friday nights in the Fall even if you don’t have kids playing.

  2. You listen to the weather forecast before putting on an outfit.

  3. You know cow pies ARE NOT made of beef.

  4. Someone you know has used a football schedule or hunting season opening date card to plan a wedding.


  1. A Mercedes Benz schedule isn’t a status symbol, a Chevy Bow Tie logo is.

  2. You know everything goes better with Ranch dressing.

  3. You learned how to shoot before you learned how to multiply.

  4. You have used your heater and air conditioner on the same day. (Remember Easter Day 2007?)


  1. You are 100% Texan if you have ever had this conversation:

“Do you want a Coke?”


“What kind?”

“Dr. Pepper.”


And finally….

  1. You actually get these jokes and are “fixin” to share them with your friends.

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