You own something that says, “Obama for President, ” and still display it.
You’ve ever said, “We really should call the ACLU about this.”
You think the second amendment is the right to keep and bear a white flag.
You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.
You ever based an argument on the phrase, “But they can afford a tax hike because…”
You keep count of how many people you know in each racial or ethnic category.
You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe does.
You can’t talk about foreign policy without using the word conspiracy.
If you think evangelical is a dirty word you might be a liberal.
If you eat granola bars for breakfast, salad greens for lunch, quiche for supper and then wake up hungry in the middle of the night and eat a whole quart of ice cream…and still think you are eating healthy.
You think solar energy is being held back by those greedy oil companies.
You’ve never been mugged.
You actually expect to collect Social Security.
If you think the government can solve your personal problems.
You think the Great Society has actually worked.
You pay a 185 percent markup for organically grown food.
You got teary-eyed during the film “The American President.”
There is a ring in any part of your head other than your ears
Your house smells like a garbage dump because of your commitment to recycling.
You think political patronage describes the Kennedy family.
Your High School Year Book goals included the words “help people.”
You think the Free Market is where they hand out Government cheese.
You think Carter should be on Mt. Rushmore.
You believe personal injury lawyers when they say they are just trying to defend the little guy.
You know that those profit mongering drug companies could find a cure for AIDS if they really wanted to.
You actually believe the NY Times and Washington Post.
You know at least two Vegans.
You trust Teddy Kennedy when he said that she was driving.
You’d rather own Birkenstock than Merck Stock.
You think public housing is great, but just NIMBY.
You think the anti-war protestors from ’60s are the real heroes.
You think that Supply Side Economics refers to your dope dealer’s stash.
You think Michael Jackson was a great example of diversity.
You actually think that poverty can be abolished.
You think that Joan Baez had something to say.
You admire the Swedish welfare system.
You know that Jefferson really meant to say “Entitled to Happiness.”
You think the Flat Tax should be at 95%
You go to Gay Pride Day parades so that no one can call you homophobic.
After looking at your pay stub you can still say, “America is undertaxed.”
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