YOU MIGHT BE A DEMOCRAT IF

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  • You own something that says, “Obama for President, ” and still display it.
  • You’ve ever said, “We really should call the ACLU about this.”
  • You think the second amendment is the right to keep and bear a white flag.
  • You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.
  • You ever based an argument on the phrase, “But they can afford a tax hike because…”
  • You keep count of how many people you know in each racial or ethnic category.
  • You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe does.
  • You can’t talk about foreign policy without using the word conspiracy.
  • If you think evangelical is a dirty word you might be a liberal.
  • If you eat granola bars for breakfast, salad greens for lunch, quiche for supper and then wake up hungry in the middle of the night and eat a whole quart of ice cream…and still think you are eating healthy.
  • You think solar energy is being held back by those greedy oil companies.
  • You’ve never been mugged.
  • You actually expect to collect Social Security.
  • If you think the government can solve your personal problems.
  • You think the Great Society has actually worked.
  • You pay a 185 percent markup for organically grown food.
  • You got teary-eyed during the film “The American President.”
  • There is a ring in any part of your head other than your ears
  • Your house smells like a garbage dump because of your commitment to recycling.
  • You think political patronage describes the Kennedy family.
  • Your High School Year Book goals included the words “help people.”
  • You think the Free Market is where they hand out Government cheese.
  • You think Carter should be on Mt. Rushmore.
  • You believe personal injury lawyers when they say they are just trying to defend the little guy.
  • You know that those profit mongering drug companies could find a cure for AIDS if they really wanted to.
  • You actually believe the NY Times and Washington Post.
  • You know at least two Vegans.
  • You trust Teddy Kennedy when he said that she was driving.
  • You’d rather own Birkenstock than Merck Stock.
  • You think public housing is great, but just NIMBY.
  • You think the anti-war protestors from ’60s are the real heroes.
  • You think that Supply Side Economics refers to your dope dealer’s stash.
  • You think Michael Jackson was a great example of diversity.
  • You actually think that poverty can be abolished.
  • You think that Joan Baez had something to say.
  • You admire the Swedish welfare system.
  • You know that Jefferson really meant to say “Entitled to Happiness.”
  • You think the Flat Tax should be at 95%
  • You go to Gay Pride Day parades so that no one can call you homophobic.
  • After looking at your pay stub you can still say, “America is undertaxed.”

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