Dear Mom On the iPhone

I see you over there on the bench, messing on your iPhone. It feels good to relax a little while your kids have fun in the sunshine, doesn’t it? You are doing a great job with your kids, you work hard, you teach them manners, have them do their chores.

But Momma, let me tell you what you don’t see right now…..

The Angel of Death

by Julia Robb Elroy Camp died at midnight, while Beulah held his bony hand and prayed. Mr. Elroy took a trembling breath. He never breathed out. “I might have known,” Mr. Elroy’s daughter said when Beulah called. “Ma’am?” “You heard me. Families in this community hire you to take care of their loved ones and two months later they’re dead.” “If you had ax Mr. Elroy, he would have tole you I was taking good care of him.” “He’s dead, isn’t he?” “I cook good. You cain’t get them meals in a restaurant.” “Estella Washington’s family hired you in December […]

The Rebekah Chronicles (an excerpt)

by Jon Williams Prologue This book has been a work of love for several years. As with any book, it is almost complete, but it is not nearly done as every time I read it I make little changes here and there. If you know me, you know that I was adopted. If you don’t you do now. My father, the one who adopted me, and my only father, just to be clear was pastoring a small Baptist church in Corpus Christi when he met Lester Roloff. That is where the story begins for me. A few years ago I […]

SCALP MOUNTAIN (an excerpt)

By Julia Robb Chapter Thirteen Report to Major Lou Phillips, Austin headquarters, from Texas Ranger Capt. W.E. Henry Sir: I have the honor to report the death of Mage Higgins, the man who shot down Sheriff Dell Rogers. After Higgins, we also trailed the gang stuck up the Round Rock bank and recovered the money. Events preceding Sheriff Rogers’ death are as follows: Ranchers took a prisoner from Rogers’ jail in Parker, Cottonwood County, and lynched him. The prisoner was a cow thief. Higgins, the prisoner’s half brother, believed Sheriff Rogers’ responsible for his brother’s demise and swore revenge. Higgins […]

The North Koreans Messed With Texas

by Boyd Taylor Immediately after North Korea successfully fired a rocket and exploded a nuclear bomb near Austin, Governor Perry sprang into action. From his bunker deep under the George H.W. Bush Library in College Station, he rejected aid from the federal government. “This is why we have the Texas Rangers,” he said, announcing that he was sending legendary Ranger Chuck Norris to deal with the North Koreans. When one of the three reporters to survive the blast asked if Norris could handle the job alone, Perry replied, “One Korea, One Ranger.” When told there were two Koreas, he said, […]

Southern Medical Terms

Author Unknown   Benign – What you be, after you be eight. Artery – The study of paintings. Bacteria – Back door to cafeteria. Barium – What doctors do when patients die. Cesarean Section – A neighborhood in Rome. Cat scan – Searching for Kitty. Cauterize – Made eye contact with her. Colic – A sheep dog. Coma – A punctuation mark. D&C – Where Washington is. Dilate – To live long. Enema – Not a friend. Fester – Quicker than someone else. Fibula – A small lie. Genital – Non-Jewish person. G. I. Series – World Series of military […]

The Hero of San Jacinto (an excerpt)

by Boyd Taylor He decided to take the bus home and think about what to do next. He walked half way to the bus stop before he remembered he had left home with no money and no billfold. No UT I.D. that would have gotten him a free ride on the bus. Nothing. He doubted that Geraldo would lend him the bus fare. He took comfort in Wesley’s reaction. Together they would figure out what to do about Payne. He was still angry, furious in fact, but he didn’t have any socks on, and the pain from the blister forming […]

Slavery in America… It Still Exists, And It’s Probably In Your Neighborhood

by Sandy Boulter A Bill advertising slaves for sale in Mississippi in the 1800s. Many of us would like to forget about slavery… in the past and present. When you think about Slavery you usually think of a time long ago, when people were taken from their homes and shipped half way around the world where they would work, countless hours, with little food to eat and little clothing on their backs. And I’m sure you believe that once President Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation that slavery was over with and done. Well, it’s not. In fact, modern day slavery […]

My Missionary Family and Their Adventures in Peru

by Julia Robb Before my sister Sarah and her family left Peru in 2004, a mud slide had almost swept them off an Andean mountain (they were 1.5 miles straight up), they were traveling on roads so bad it took 24 hours to travel 800 miles, had broken down in places where they could not even buy food, much less lodging, and lived at the foot of the Andes in a house with no hot water. For some of those years, Sarah, my brother-on-law Joel Purcell, and their three kids (who have now returned home, to The Woodlands, Texas), lived […]

I Don’t Tube Much These Days…

by Angie’s Hubby So there I was, just minding my own business. It was a beautiful Saturday morning and I was planning to enjoy it just laying around and doing not much. Angie suggested that the whole family take a trip up the road and enjoy a nice relaxing tubing trip down the peaceful, lazy Guadalupe. Now, I ain’t much of a swimmer but I had been tubing a couple of times and the river was shallow enough that you could simply stand up and walk around in it if need be, so I agreed. We all loaded up and […]

Texas Constructs U.S. Border Wall To Keep Out Unwanted Americans

The Texas-U.S. border wall will protect Texans from foreigners, like those from Oklahoma and California. . WICHITA FALLS, TX—Calling it an essential step toward securing the Texas border and protecting his people’s way of life, Gov. Rick Perry announced Tuesday the completion of a 1,953-mile wall designed to keep out millions of unwanted Americans. According to Perry, the 75-foot-high barricade running along the northern boundary is the culmination of more than 160 years of escalating tensions between Texas and the United States. Though a protective barrier has been under consideration for decades, the Texas Legislature voted unanimously to begin construction […]

My Grandmother said “The Good Old Days Were No Damn Good”

by Dwayne R. Deslatte My grandmother Rose Deslatte had this great line – I use it a lot. “The good old days…they weren’t no damn good.” She kept her old washboard hanging over her prized possession – her electric washing machine. That one phrase has kept more sentimentality out of my brain that about anything else I have heard. But, since I recently made 43 years of age, I thought instead of going on about the economy, politics, or education this week I would just mention a few things from “the good old days” I have really enjoyed, learned or […]

A Renewed Energy Policy

by The Waco Kid This article is an op-ed and the opinions therein may or may not be reflected by the staff, founders, or contributors of I Am A Texan, LLC. Summary For 40 years, American leaders have talked about the need for an energy policy and the need to stop importing foreign oil and, 40 years later, here we are. People point to the housing crisis as the source of our current economic problems. What people forget is that oil prices nearly doubled in the year before the downturn because the global economy was doing well and demand for […]

The Ever Scary 10th Amendment: What it Really Means

by Holli Carter The 10th Amendment seems to be a point of contention. Many of our statist friends say that this amendment give the federal government free rein to do whatever it wants, citing the part “not prohibited to it” to mean that it is referring to the Federal Government. But, take a moment to apply basic English rules to it, and you’ll see this is in error.   Here is the text, in whole: “The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or […]