The North Koreans Messed With Texas

by Boyd Taylor Immediately after North Korea successfully fired a rocket and exploded a nuclear bomb near Austin, Governor Perry sprang into action. From his bunker deep under the George H.W. Bush Library in College Station, he rejected aid from the federal government. “This is why we have the Texas Rangers,” he said, announcing that he was sending legendary Ranger Chuck Norris to deal with the North Koreans. When one of the three reporters to survive the blast asked if Norris could handle the job alone, Perry replied, “One Korea, One Ranger.” When told there were two Koreas, he said, […]

Texas Constructs U.S. Border Wall To Keep Out Unwanted Americans

The Texas-U.S. border wall will protect Texans from foreigners, like those from Oklahoma and California. . WICHITA FALLS, TX—Calling it an essential step toward securing the Texas border and protecting his people’s way of life, Gov. Rick Perry announced Tuesday the completion of a 1,953-mile wall designed to keep out millions of unwanted Americans. According to Perry, the 75-foot-high barricade running along the northern boundary is the culmination of more than 160 years of escalating tensions between Texas and the United States. Though a protective barrier has been under consideration for decades, the Texas Legislature voted unanimously to begin construction […]